a song that makes me sad.

Getting a little serious. Getting a little nostalgic. 30 Day Music Challenge, Day 4 asks for “a song that makes you sad.”

Deep breath. Here goes.

This song makes me sad. It makes me sad, not because of the lyrics or the minor chord. Although that combo doesn’t do a sensitive gal like me any favors.

It makes me sad because it reminds me of a time, almost exactly a year ago, when my beautiful grandmother, Mary Dutton, left this earth. Mary was my inspiration and my creative mentor. You can read more about her story here.

My parents had warned me that Mary was in the hospital and that I needed to prepare. I went to the gym and did my gym thing, listening to my tunes. Really into Broken Bells at the time (a badass collaborative between that dude from The Shins and DJ DangerMouse) and I listened to them while I pondered and sweated and tried to ignore the bile of anticipation and grief that threatened to rise from my gut.

I remembered being a little girl and Mary painting my fingernails. Sleepovers at her house. Her crazy jewelry and smelly soaps and weird fake fireplace. Reading her novel for the first time and weeping all night because it was so good.

Then this song came on.

And I very nearly broke down and sobbed on the elliptical machine. I managed to keep it together until I got into my car. Then I turned the music up loud and let the tears and snot flow.

I love this song. And I love you, Mary.

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