Doing the Blog and Gazing Into the Abyss

Sometimes people say to me, “Do you still Do the Blog?”

This makes me feel happy and sad at the same time. Happy because it is so sweet of them to remember and to be kind and to care. Sad because the answer is really no. I don’t still Do the Blog. Very often.

I’ve Done the Blog about six times since the birth of my third (and surprise) baby. I hate to think that parenthood killed my creative energy but it at least put things to sleep for a while.

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Here’s that gaze into the abyss thing I was talking about. Careful!

I also started to feel like my blog jumped the shark. All of us creative types want to be special glittering diamond monsters of art. We like to think that what we do is the most unique, clever thing ever. And for a long time Doing the Blog gave me a sort of high, where I imagined that I did something a bit unique and sometimes clever.

Then I stopped doing it for a while because what I wrote no longer felt special.

It felt tired. It felt forced.

I also felt tired. And maybe forced. But definitely tired.

Like really, really tired for about two years in a row, okay?

But lately I notice that my special glittering diamond monster has woken up from her long winter’s nap. She is groggy and has no idea where she is, but she rubbed the goo from her eyes and picked up a pen. Her neck is cramped from sleeping so long, and she is still a little unsteady on her feet. But she knows that Doing the Blog is not about fame or glory or riches.

It’s about Doing the Blog for the sake of Doing the Blog.

It is about flexing that primal muscle that forces us to gaze into the abyss of our own experiences and share out what we see in hopes of finding something in common with those around us.

Because we ALL have that glittering diamond monster inside. Whether it be for writing poetry or hand-rolling pasta from scratch or making up nerdy role-playing games, it is part of our human experience to create and to share.

Maybe having three kids and a job and a husband and some other stuff on my plate has made my creativity leak out a bit more slowly over the past couple of years.

Maybe my professional writing challenges have given me those juicy, creative pushes that allow me to let the personal Doing the Blog stuff go by the wayside.

Or maybe (let’s hope) that the glittering diamond monster was just gathering strength for something with more zing and glitter than Doing the Blog.

Because I know that I have stories to tell. I daydream about the five unfinished novels and other countless bits of story flotsam that clutter my Dropbox files.

No matter what the future holds, here I am, Doing the Blog again. Flexing the muscle. Gazing into the abyss. Tickling the glittering diamond monster until she coughs up something interesting. Or at least something that’s not totally embarrassing.

I am Doing the Blog.

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